Ten tips for parents
How to understand school problems? They are so diverse that sometimes it’s hard to do even for an expert. Even more difficult — the teacher. Often lack patience and understanding parents. But most of all suffers from them a child!
Sometimes it starts, seemingly with little things; the slow pace of work, difficulties in memorizing the letters, inability to concentrate. Something blamed on age — say, not used, still small; something on the shortcomings of education; something — for unwillingness to work. But at this point, the difficulties are even relatively easy to detect, they are quite easy to fix. But then the problem snowballing — is one difficulty pulling the other, forming a terrible and vicious cycle. Constant failures so discouraged child that the difficulties of “creep” from one subject to another.
The child is given: begins to consider himself helpless, unable, and all your efforts useless. Psychologists believe that learning outcomes depend not only on the capable or not capable to solve its task, but also on how he believes that he will be able to solve this problem. If the failures follow one another, then, of course, there comes a time when the child himself says: “No, I never will”. Times “never”, then there is no need to try! Abandoned by mom or dad among other things: “you’re stupid!” — only “pours oil on the fire”. And not only the word, but just the attitude that you demonstrate (even unintentionally) reproachful gaze, intonation, gesture, telling the kid sometimes more big words.
What can parents do if school difficulties are still there?
1. Do not consider school difficulties have arisen as a personal tragedy.
Don’t despair and, most importantly, try not to show his disappointment and discontent. Remember: your main task is to help the child. So accept and love him the way he is, then it will be easier.
2. Tune in and get ready for what you have for a long period of joint work with the child.
Remember: he alone can not cope with their problems!
3. Your main assistance: to support his confidence.
Try to remove the feeling of tension and guilt for failure. If you are busy with their chores and snatched a moment to say what’s up or dress down, do not help, and the basis for the emergence of new problems.
4. Forget the famous phrase: “What did you get?”
Do not ask your child immediate story about their school Affairs, especially if he is upset or distressed. Leave him alone, he’ll tell you all if you will be confident in your support.
5. Do not discuss the problems of the child with the teacher in his presence.
Better to do it without him. Never reproach, do not scold the child if some of his classmates or friends. Not worth it to stress the successes of other children, to admire them.
6. Interested in the homework only when you constantly help him.
When working together, please be patient. After all the efforts to overcome school difficulties is very tedious and requires the ability to restrain, no raised voices, easy to repeat and explain the same thing several times — without reproach, and irritation. Typical parental complaints: “there are No forces… all nervous…” you Know, what is it? Can’t hold any adult, to blame the kid. All parents regret, but the baby — very rare…
For some reason parents think: if there are difficulties in the letter, you need to write more; if bad reads — to read more; if bad thinks more. But these tedious, not giving classes meet kill joy of the work itself! Therefore do not overload the child what he can’t.
It is very important that during class you are not obstructed, that the child felt — you for and with him. Don’t look “even with one eye” TV, do not be distracted, do not interrupt classes to call or to escape to the kitchen.
It is equally important to decide who of the adults the child is better to do your homework. Mom usually softer, but they often do not have the patience, and the emotions are overflowing… Dads harder, but safer. Try to avoid such situations, when one of the adults, losing patience, calls for change and “massacre” of the other.
Keep in mind that the child is having school problems, only in rare cases will be fully aware that he set in the house. And there is no malice here: the fact that homework is almost always given at the end of the lesson, when the class is already noisy, and your “lagging” tired and almost unable to hear the teacher. Therefore, it genuinely might say, “no homework”. In this case, check on homework from classmates.
When preparing homework the total duration of continuous operation should not exceed 20-30 minutes. Pause after such work is required!
Do not strive at any cost and “spending time” to do all the homework.
7. Do not consider shameful to ask the teacher: ask the child only when he is called, not to show all his mistakes, not to stress failures.
Try to find a contact with the teacher, because the child needs help and support from both sides.
8. Work only on “positive reinforcement”.
Failures encourage, support, and even the smallest success emphasize.
The most important thing when helping a child is the reward of his work, not only in words. If this is not done, the child is starting to work, might think: “there is No point in trying, no one will notice my success”. The reward is sure: it could be a walk, a trip to the zoo, theatre…
9. Children with school problems required a measured and clear mode of the day.
We must not forget: these children are usually hectic, unorganized, and therefore, to observe them is not easy.
If the child gets up with difficulty, do not pull it, do not rush, don’t rush once again: better set the alarm clock half an hour earlier.
Perhaps the most difficult time is the evening, when it’s time to go to bed. Parents tend to quickly put the little student in bed, and he could, stalling for time. This often ends in a quarrel, tears, reproaches. And then the child could not calm down and sleep.
You can grant him some freedom (allowing not go to bed at nine, and from nine to nine-thirty). Very important full (without any academic tasks) rest on Sunday, and especially during the holidays.
10. The timeliness and accuracy of the measures taken significantly increases the chances of success.
Therefore, if you have the opportunity, be sure to advise the child of specialists (doctors, speech therapists, psychoneurologic, teachers). And follow all recommendations!