Practical recommendations doctors
This article is not about education in the pedagogical sense of the word, but to circumvent this important question we could not. And although books on child pedagogy lot, but still interesting to see how raising children in different countries. Well, contact the eyewitnesses.
In his book ‘Sakura & oak” V. Ovchinnikov, telling about the life, the way of life in Japan and England, recreates a lot of interesting details of raising children.
“there are Few on the ground of the countries where the children would be surrounded by more love than in Japan. But the seal of subordination is even on the parent’s feelings. Eldest son stand out among other children. It is treated literally as the heir to the throne, although the throne that only the parental home.
From an early age such baby is often the most obnoxious in the house.
It is taught to perceive concessions granted, because he will be then not only taking care of elderly parents, but the responsibility for the family as a whole, for procreation, for the father’s house.
As the eldest son grows up, he and his father begins to decide what is good and what is bad for his younger siblings.
Japanese from childhood accustomed to the fact that certain privileges entail certain responsibilities. He understands its rightful place as the line, that is, on the one hand, as known limitations, but on the other hand, is known as a guarantee of rights”.
We have assumed that the ideal child should be obedient and disciplined. It turns out that this is not always the case.
Ovchinnikov, talking about the behavior of Japanese kids, says: “to Us it seems only natural that the strong disciplining effect on humans have in children and young years, then he is given more and more individual initiative. Japanese in middle age least of all the owner himself. But, strangely enough, it is taught to this emphatic, even excessive freedom in the early years of life.
For many foreigners, it is striking that Japanese children like never cry. Some even consider this due to the famous Japanese politeness manifested almost from infancy.
The reason is, of course, different. The baby cries when he wants to drink or eat when he feels any inconvenience or left unattended and, finally, when something is forced. The Japanese system of education is committed to avoid all this.
The first two years of the baby as it remains part of the mother’s body that wears it all day tied behind her back, at night puts him to sleep next to him and gives him the breast at any moment, as soon as he wills it.
Even when the baby begins to walk, it is almost flush with it, not trying to teach him to some kind of routine, somehow limit his impulses. From mothers, grandmothers, sisters who constantly tinkering with it, he hears only caveats: “dangerous”, “dirty”, “bad”. And these three words are in his mind as something unambiguous.
In short, children in Japan, from our point of view, it’s incredibly pampered. We can say, im just trying to give reason to cry. Them, especially boys, are almost never banned. School-age child does what he pleases. Downright with his mother’s milk he absorbs the confidence that his vanity will not touch even the parents.
The Japanese manage to completely not respond to bad behavior of their children, as if not noticing it. Five-year-old tot, who got bored with waiting mother at the hairdresser, can open jars of creams to smear the mirror or his own face, and neither the master nor sitting next to a woman or even a mother will not tell him a single word.
The Japanese education of the child begins with a reception, which could be called the threat of exclusion. «If you behave inappropriately, everyone will laugh at you all will turn away from you” – here is a typical example of parental teachings. The fear of being ridiculed, humiliated, excommunicated from Rodney or communities from an early age so in the soul of the Japanese. Because his way of life does not leave much room for any personal Affairs, hidden from others, and since even the nature of Japanese houses is that people living all the time in the eyes of others, the threat of exclusion is acting seriously. School years are the period when children nature learns first limit.
In child raising caution: it is taught to beware of the provisions under which he or anyone else can “lose face”.
The child begins to suppress the impulses that had previously expressed freely, not because he now sees evil in them, but because they become inappropriate.
However, the complete freedom that Japanese is in early childhood, leaves an indelible mark on his life philosophy. It is the memories of carefree days when it was an unknown feeling of shame, and generate Outlook on life on both the constraints and the scope of indulgences; induce inexplicable at first glance, the inconsistency of the Japanese character”.
The British believe that immoderate manifestation of parental love and affection is harmful to the child’s character. Their traditions relate to children reserved, even cool. This causes parents to control their senses, and children Willy-nilly to get used to it. Even a stroller with an infant is common to have to cry it was not heard mother and gave birth to her temptation to approach the child and reassure him.
Disciplining effect parents have on them already from a very early age. But it’s clearly aimed against certain inclinations and aptitudes, which is deemed necessary to ruthlessly suppress. If the child thinks of torturing a cat or dog if it will offend younger or damage other people’s property, it will suffer severe, even cruel punishment. However, within clearly defined boundaries of the forbidden children free of micromanaging and interference that teaches them not only to be independent but also accountable for their actions.
Barely learned to walk, the English child hears a favorite in this country the phrase: “Get a grip!” It weaned from childhood clinging to their parents for comfort in moments of pain or resentment. Children are taught that crying is something unworthy, almost shameful. A kid who is crying, hurt, causing an outright mockery of their peers and the silent disapproval of their parents. If the child falls off the bike, no one will rush to it, will not show anxiety about bloody abrasion on the knee.
It is believed that he has to get to his feet, to freshen up and, more importantly, to go further.
Encourage independence, English baby gradually becomes accustomed to the fact that, experiencing hunger, fatigue, pain, hurt, he should not complain, it disturb father or mother for nothing.
English children and don’t expect someone to cluck over them, to indulge their whims, to surround them excessive tenderness and affection.
They understand that they live in the realm of adults, where they are supposed to know their place, and that place is not on the lap of the father or mother.
However, this emancipation from the related debt, from the burden of moral obligations is, of course, its downside.
This is a double – edged sword, one of the main reasons for the exclusion, for which the person is so often condemned in England. Due to the fact that children are taken to settle separately, parents have to live out their days in solitude and sometimes in oblivion.
These lonely old men, helpless in the event of illness and defenseless in the face of inflation, the elderly, sensitive pride which causes them to hide from their children need and deprivation, are one of the most painful social problems of modern Britain.
The problem is, of course, has been observed in other countries. But here it is particularly acute it is because of prejudice that children are not responsible for the fate of elderly parents and what happened to them is enough to meet only once or twice a year, at Christmas or Easter.