How to grow a real man
It is no coincidence that nature “intended” so that kids born from two “halves” – mom and dad’s. That is why it is so important to the education of the child was attended by both parents. The gender of the baby is irrelevant. It is considered that boys need a father’s education more than girls. But the significance of the Pope for girls is huge! Pope underpin the development of femininity in their daughters, looking at daddy, girls, and then girls, determine criteria for the choice of her future husband. Dad teaches his daughter to interact with the opposite sex (how you should behave with boys). Daddy’s love gives the girl a sense of confidence in their own attractiveness and femininity.
For girls is as important daddy’s praise and love, as for boys.
Father’s role in the upbringing of his son – in the first government, to show, how to be a real man. But it’s not every dad is behaving like a real man. And in this case, dear mom, raising boys without their dad, better a good example of a grandfather than a bad example of the Pope.
In a family where there is no father, but has a loving mother, the boy could only feel the lack of male attention and care. Everything else is able to give the mom and family. Especially mom, raising a son, has the advantage of keeping krasnopolski. That is, the mother may teach his son all the tricks of communication with the girls and then women.
But that boy must be a man on whom he would like to be like. Therefore, it is necessary to find a decent male society. Such a society can a boy find, for example, in sections of Eastern martial arts (karate, Wushu, etc.). Only the coach should always be a man. In the good section of the child will be taught not only the ability to stand up for themselves, but also to be courageous, honest with people, strong in any situation (such is the nature of martial arts). In General, learn to be a real man. If for health reasons the child cannot engage in any men’s sport (“hard “species, such as Boxing, it is desirable to exclude from the list), the baby can be given to any other section, predominantly male group: ship modeling, radio, chess finally.
But most importantly, what the boy’s mother, growing up without a father must not do is solublility his “unfortunate” child is not up. You think that thus you compensate him for the loss of the Pope. But it’s not. Eventually you will raise the selfish or Mallik. Hyper is not the best companion of man. And here’s why.
If the mother does not enter into remarriage, the biggest, one might say exaggerated sense of her life becomes the child. She dedicates herself and her life to the child, forgetting to live their. Here subtleness of hyperopic is that the relationship between parent and child appear to be built on mutual respect and understanding ( the mother of the child, the child is everything to mom). But it is only at first glance. The kid who gives himself without reserve, begins with time to feel responsible for what mom is going on. All of his Soaps and actions aim not to offend her, not to do anything bad. “How am I to upset the mum, because she loves me” thinks the pet, not noticing that over time the desire to “save” the mother from anxiety turns into a nagging sense of guilt. For clarity, one example.
The family was born beautiful son Egor. The first five years Yegorushka not much spoiled with attention and care, mommy was a beloved father. But that time has passed, the feelings between father and mother have died down, dad left the family. And mom suddenly for no apparent reason decided that I loved Yegorushka is not enough. And here we go: all that Sonny wants, mommy will buy it. With all this, the Yegorushka every five minutes were told: “you are the best, most beautiful and most intelligent!” In school and then in high school the boy too everything worked: all a’s, endless praise of teachers, the attention of girls. Grown man, like a flower in a pot, enjoying life. Mom played any desire to son’s, solved all the problems of everyday life, dressed, fed, worked for him every step. And Yegorushka with ease was laid on mommy’s life path. Until I reached the Institute. It turned out (for egorushka it was a complete surprise) that it trains thousands of beautiful, smart, talented young men. Only with the problems they were handled quickly and easily, because he knew how, and teachers to their opinions with much more attention. Our hero is deeply experienced every failure, every two, every sideways glance. But their problems are not solved – tips my mother’s was not. Parents, too, to disturb and upset is not wanted. As it is, the most-most, in fact nothing at all can? Gradually it flowed into extreme depression. In the end, the young man took the documents and went back to mommy. I came back another, often silent, with friends did not communicate. Mom could not understand what happened to Sonny. And the thing is That her Yegorushka only 18 years old, finally starting to grow up. There is another pitfall of raising a boy without a father – aggression that can manifest itself in the future when he becomes an adult man.
Another real life story.
The difference in age at Marisa and his sister Sasha was minimal – a year and a half. Mom loved wsoic kids, but dad often fought son, and daughter came. Because the authority of the father for the boy was in those years, immutable, in his mind clearly is deposited in the manhandling nothing wrong with that. When Marisa was 11 years old, my father left the family for another woman – it was a shock for the boy. And mom and even angry at the whole world: to all men, and especially to all the happily married women. She left work, was not enough to go out, taking care of the family fell on the shoulders of an eleven-year old boy. He chopped firewood (they lived in a publish house), stoked the stove, and carried water from the well. And my mom was just added fuel to the fire: “you see, son, what is your folder bad. Left us alone, went to another”. The woman did not spare the nerves of the child, thereby growing in him anger and aggression towards people.
The time has passed. Maris grew up and married. But on the tenth day after the wedding, he beat up his wife for a dirty plate in the sink, broke her rib cage. And when it rang, said, “You’re my wife, I have the right to punish you”. And then he added. “Fatherly”. It’s a scary, but real example of how anger over a failed destiny mom breaks the fate of his son and the people with whom his fate brings.
What about the sister Marisa? And Sasha in the 27 years sitting under sideways at my mom and is very afraid of men, because mom persuaded her that they are all equally bad. Wonder if Sasha to create a ever happy family.
Each mommy endowed by nature with strong intuition about her child. And she knows exactly what’s good for her treasures. Even if you’re raising your boy without a dad, the child needs to feel complete and happy person. So good men’s society, at least undue pity for the child and laments about his unhappy fate. Especially because he’s a happy kid, because he has a big loving family, and most importantly – a wise mommy.